These past few weeks have gone by without me even caring much about this blog. Why? I'm so tired. I'm exhausted. I'm in pain. I can't think straight. Even thinking about creating a blog post makes me fatigued.
I love this blog. And I love blogging. But it is not what is most important in my life. My health, my relationships, and myself are what is most important. I barely have the energy to do anything, so why waste the energy I do have on blogging? Instead, I'll go out on a date with my husband. Or walk my dogs. Or just watch a movie.
I've had a major breakthrough in the covertness of what is causing all my symptoms. I have been diagnosed with so many things it's crazy. And I've told you guys before that I'm not sure which diagnoses are true or not. Well, there's a new one. And I'm confident that it's the real deal.
I have Lyme Disease. Specifically, late persistent Lyme Disease, or Chronic Lyme Disease. I most likely got bit by a tick when I was working at a camp up in Missouri about 6 years ago, because that's when all of my symptoms started to slowly and gradually show up.
So what does this mean for me? Well, when I learned about Lyme, everything made perfect sense. The symptoms of late Lyme match up perfectly with mine:
Neurological disorders - pain, weakness, numbing of extremities, headaches, fatigue, memory problems, irritability, sleep disorders, disorientation, dizziness, confusion, brain fog, and the inability to concentrate, finish sentences, or follow conversations. Lyme can also cause arthritis, which I also have.
Other symptoms that have not yet presented themselves in my case (that I know of) are heart problems, Bell's palsy (paralysis of facial muscles), and changes in vision.
I found out about my Lyme by participating in nutrition response testing (or muscle response testing). My nutritionist (who performs the testing) has treated many people with Lyme, and is confident that we can get rid of it in a safe way, even though it might take a while.
So what can I do to get rid of it?
Well, if I had caught the Lyme at it's beginning stages, a few rounds of antibiotics would've done the trick. In late stage Lyme, that's not the case. Studies have shown that antibiotics do not work for late stage Lyme, and can even be dangerous. Therefore, there aren't many medically-related treatments for late Lyme, and is why this stage of Lyme disease can also be called "post-treatment Lyme disease syndrome".
Here's what I'm doing to eradicate Lyme: I'm taking certain supplements that can get rid of Lyme. Lyme is smart, though, so I have to change up my supplement regimen every 12 or so days. I also have to change the way I eat. I am now limiting my fruits since Lyme thrives on sugar of any kind. (Good thing I didn't already consume normal sugar.) I also have to up my fats (coconut, avocado, nuts, seeds) and my protein, which is hard to do on a mostly raw vegan diet. So we decided to add back in a little bit of healthy fish every once in a while (salmon, ahi, mahi-mahi). (But it's hard. I don't like eating animals. My mind is crazy now, and I get too sad about how the fish were caught, if they suffered, etc. Pray with me about this!)
With the nutrition response testing, I also found out that, although I haven't eaten anything with gluten in over 6 years, my gut is still not healing. With celiac disease, even the slightest inhalation of gluten can cause holes in my stomach lining, and by consuming even the smallest amount of grains, I'm not allowing my stomach to heal properly. So now I am completely grain-free. Which I was for the most part before, but now I can't even do rice, quinoa, millet, corn, or even oats.
The testing also showed that I don't do well on processed sugar (white sugar, brown sugar, powdered sugar, etc. - which I wasn't consuming anyway), but my body is okay with honey, maple syrup, and fruit sugar (phew!). So yes, I might not be allergic to fruit sugar, but since Lyme loves it, I have to limit my fruits. (Sad face.)
More information that I gained from the testing was that my thyroid isn't functioning properly, and I have too many toxic heavy metals in my system. Every system of my body (nervous, endocrine, digestive, etc) is functioning on a dangerously low level.
So, in addition to the Lyme-fighting supplements, I've also been taking probiotics, enzymes, supplements to aide my lymphatic system, and B12. I'm basically detoxing with the lymph supplements and with how much water I have to drink, so I feel even worse than usual. Detox symptoms suck. But my heavy metals are almost gone! :)
Basically, this new information came just in time. I have been declining faster and faster, and I don't know how much longer I can take it. On a serious note - I think about heaven all the time and how glorious it will be. I think about how death is portrayed as a morbid thing in our culture and how absurd that is because I would welcome death with open arms right about now! No, I am NOT suicidal. I just want the pain to end. Sometimes I wish I was selfish enough to be suicidal. But I would never do that to those that I love. You can't imagine what this is like unless you have a chronic illness as well.
But I now have slightly renewed hope. Maybe, just maybe, something can be done about my pain. And in time, maybe I'll be a normal person!!
Since my pain and fatigue is worsening, I won't be taking any new design clients. You'll probably see less blogging as well, and I won't be taking on sponsors anymore. If I have the energy to do anything, I'm not going to waste it on designing or blogging, even though I love it. Instead, I'll use it to be a better wife, friend, sister, aunt, daughter, and dog-owner.
But I promise I'll blog sometimes. I can't bring myself not to for too long! :)